It Makes Me Smile

Sitting in my class this afternoon, FANR 1100, when I should have been paying attention to the guest lecturer talk about wildlife management, an uncontrollable smile expanded across my face. I know, I probably looked like a crazy person, sitting there and smiling to myself, but I don't care. Do you know why? I finally realized that finally, after all of these years, I have so many reasons to smile.

Solemates

You actually had a good idea, so write this. You were supposed to write it today, but then you got worried and didn't feel like it. No big deal, just remember to write it down some day.

Worrying, Worrying.

So, I've never been much of a worrier. Not about people at least. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends, but I've never been legitimately WORRIED about any of them. I just rest assured that everything's going to be alright.

I was working on my English homework a little while ago and I had this nagging feeling that wouldn't go away. It was a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and an annoying voice somewhere in my subconscious whispering, "Hey, you, something's wrong..." and then fading off to nothing before I could hear the rest of what it had to say. It's honestly a feeling that I've never had before. I didn't know how to deal with it. Then it struck me: I'm worried about Chris.

I talked to Chris as I started my drive back to Athens today, he was on his way HOME from Athens. He said he wasn't "feeling" talking on the phone while driving and that he would call me when he got home, which was honestly fine with me. I'm a bad enough driver to begin with, I don't need any distractions. I was also bummed that I wouldn't get to see him today, and I didn't want that to come of as "I'm pissed that you're not staying in Athens to see me".

The catch is, I haven't talked to him since then. I know that he needed to take a shower. He made his infamous "I smell like fried chicken and butthole" remark. So then, maybe he decided to lay down for a little bit, and maybe he fell asleep. That's what I hope, because I texted him looking for some sort of reassurance and got nothing but a reminder that my fear may be completely legitimate. Maybe something really is wrong. I'd love to say that I've gotten a response while writing this, but I haven't. I'm still obsessively checking a phone with no new text messages.

The scary part is that he means everything to me. And if something did happen to him- please God don't let something have happened to him- he might not know it yet, and that makes my heart hurt.

Thank you, sweet baby Jesus, my love is okay. Oh, and suddenly everything else is, too.