Mumford & Sons

This band will, I think, forever remind me of my love, regardless of what actually comes of our relationship. We both started listening to the band at the same time, so we've grown to like them at the same time, and I actually really like them, a lot. Last night, we had a conversation that probably saved us, for now at least, to the tune of "Sigh No More". The CD was the soundtrack to the evening, which probably ended up being one of the best I've ever had with him.

In a lot of ways, he and I are so similar.

"I'm a lot like you". He feels like the missing piece that I never knew was missing. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm alone in the sense that I feel like I don't have anything to hide. He makes me feel safe, makes me feel warm and cozy, makes me feel happy, makes me feel comfortable, makes me feel perfect, makes me feel like I never want him to leave.

That's why the conversation yesterday, although unavoidable, was one that I definitely didn't want to have.

He asks gently, "Is this about yesterday?"

"Yeah," I can feel myself choking up.

Silence. I don't want to look at him, even though he's no more than two inches to my left, I focus on the blinds, the shadow that they're casting on the bay window as the street lights come on outside. His arm lays protectively and gently over my stomach.

"It just got me thinking. If this is something that's always going to bother me, what's the point?"

His turn now. I've said what I have to say. Please understand what I'm saying.

"Of what?" Crap, he doesn't. "Please don't say, 'Of us.'" Okay, he does.

"Yeah."

"I don't want to lose you."

We lay quiet for a while. I glance over at him, he's not looking at me, instead he's focusing on something ahead, the wall, or maybe the same window I had been looking at. I run my fingers over his hand, trying to tell him I don't want to let him go without having to say a word.

"I don't want to quit. Well, I do. I would love for you to quit, really. But who the hell am I to tell you what to do, you know? I came in to this knowing it was something you do, I just didn't know it would bother me this bad."

"Do you think it's something we can work through?"

"I don't know."

"I hope so."

"I know."

"Keep me in the loop on this, I don't want to be blindsided by a break-up."

My turn to be silent. He sounds okay with it, breaking up, I mean.

"I mean, if you're looking for a way out of this, be real with me. Just tell me you want out." What?

"Like right now?" That came out a little louder than I wanted it to.

"I mean, yeah." He was quieter.

A pause. "I don't want to leave you, baby."

He's quiet for a moment, and then firmly pulls me closer, "The idea's got me tearing up."


Feel the Tide plays in the background:
"But you and I now
We can be alright
Just hold on to what we know is true."

So what's the truth? I don't ever want to be without him again. Point/counterpoint.