Can I Get a Refill?

I found myself staring at my "Empty" post this morning. I wanted so badly to delete it. I looked up at the title of the blog: "I have a story. Here it is." Everyone has a story. Everyone's story is well worth telling, my story included. I realized that I can't delete that small portion of my story. Instead, I need to move on, refill.

And that's where I am now, pursuing my refill. It's almost the end of the semester, my first semester of college. Today is my last day of Tuesday/Thursday classes. I just attended my last college English class and finished up my portfolio, so I'm done with that for the semester. Later today, I'll go take my Natural Resource Conservation final. After that, I'll be done with that class for the semester as well. My last Political Science breakout section is tomorrow morning. The last lecture for that class is on Monday. I have three days left in my Geometry for Elementary School Teachers class, my last day being next Tuesday. After that, I have my math final on the 10th and my Political Science final on the 15th. And that's all, folks. Done. Finished. Half way to being a sophomore. Sort of. This weekend, I'll get all of the rest of my homework for the semester done and then resume my job hunt. I'm really not getting enough hours at Gamestop, and I need money badly. I also really need to make a trip to Wells Fargo to fix my debit card situation. I'll be staying in Athens this weekend to save gas and get all of that done. I'll probably go home next Tuesday.

Anyways, as I stared blankly at my computer screen in my English class this morning, I realized how much I've learned this semester. I can easily hold a political conversation, make sense, and actually manage to sound intelligent. I actually considered a job working with natural resource conservation just because I never really realized that it was actually a job before, does that make sense? I can now write a DAMN good essay, thank you Mrs. Maher. I also realized that I want to be a math teacher. I've also grown up a lot, fallen in love, made some good new friends, lost a few bad old friends, and changed as a person. I won't say I'm completely in love with who I am and the decisions I've made. I also won't say I have any idea where I'll be in the future, but I'm kind of content with just figuring it out as I go along.

I also just re-read the post about spending the weekend with my baby-love a couple of weeks ago. It made me sad, because I've been so doubtful about the relationship lately. We've definitely had our share of problems. I just really don't want that to overshadow the fact that we've also had our share of amazing moments. I had the best Thanksgiving I've ever had this year, and it was all because of him. I think it's just scary for me to sit back and realize that he really is my EVERYTHING. It's extremely difficult for me to invest so much in to someone that I feel so uncertain about.

So now, I continue to make a conscious effort to refill. I just want to be happy again.