Friday, June 25, 2010

Sometimes my dad leaves me absolutely speechless. Then, for some reason unknown to me, I end up feeling sorry for him. My parents are divorced, as any of you who know me probably already know. This weekend is one of the two weekends per month that my sister and I are supposed to go spend with him. He gets sassy if we end up spending it with anyone else. I understand that, I guess. I think, though, that what he fails to understand is that those two weekends per month that we have to spend with EVERYONE ELSE IN HIS FAMILY. We have aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents that we wouldn't get to see any other time of the month. When the opportunity presents itself, I'm more that eager to take it up.

My Aunt Sharon texted me yesterday to let me know that my cousins, Jack and Luke, were going to be at her house today and also to let me know that Stephanie and I were more than welcome to join them. I was pumped! I love spending time with my cousins, as I always have, and I love spending time with my Aunt Sharon as well. I didn't communicate the plan to my dad until today.

I kind of wanted him to pick us up and take us over there and maybe hang out for a little while. I love my dad. I want to spend time with my dad. I hate the fact that I only really get two weekends a month to spend with them. I hate even more that most of the time that I AM with him, I feel singled out and hurt. That aside, though, I know it's important for me to spend time with him.

His exact words were, "Well, if you're just going to spend the night over there, why doesn't she pick you up?"

Harmless enough, right? You didn't get to hear his tone of voice. May I also add, his apartment is no more than ten minutes away from Sharon's house.

I just said, "Okay, if that's what you want." He said he would talk to me later. I said "Love you."

He simply replied, "Mhm", and hung up.

I just talked to him again, as he was making sure I had talked to my Aunt and gotten a ride. He flat out hung up on me this time, fueling my anger. I know he cares, that's why he called again, but I also know that he's hurt. When he's hurt, he wants other people to hurt. After all of this, I feel bad for HIM.

I will not let this ruin my weekend. I swear I won't.

On a much more positive note, I hit my fastest time running today! I dragged my butt out of bed, grabbed a protein bar, and hit the pavement. I ran the one point two miles in fourteen minutes and fifteen seconds, making it an eleven minute and fifty two second mile. That time is faster that even my tread mill times! I'm making progress! Shin splint pain and all, I'm making progress, and that's all I need to keep me driven.