Sitting on her bed late at night, she was lonely. All day she had been listening to the radio, jotting down songs that she wanted to remember. That was fine for a while, but eventually loneliness sets in. That's where she was now, floating in a pool of loneliness. Those thoughts, the bad ones, the ones she though she had shaken months ago slowly started to creep their way back in to her mind. She glanced over at her vanity, at her curling iron, at the instrument that could bring her attention to screaming physical pain rather than the emotional pain that was much harder to deal with. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, told herself she didn't need it, she could cope, she lay back on her bed. Taking deep breaths she tried to just let it all go.
Her eyes opened and she picked up her phone. Looking back, she wouldn't know why she did it. Her friend Jake had snuck his way in to her thoughts. He was a better friend to her than anyone could be. She hadn't talked to him in a while, so when she thought about him, she knew something was up. It was weirdly amazing, fantastic. She felt as though she could almost feel his feelings. She texted Jake. Didn't bother with hello. She knew something was up.
"Jake, what's been going on with you lately?"
He responded within minutes, "Lord, how did you know?"
"Just had a feeling." And she did, and her feeling was right, her feelings were always right. They were both twins, and one twin had been lost from both sets. They shared an amazing connection, almost twin-like itself. She had felt an immediate bond when she and Jake had met, and their love for one another had only grown stronger. It wasn't romantic love either. It was the strongest kind of love there is, almost a familial love, except she got to pick him. "What's wrong?"
He was ready for a relationship, his dad was hesitant to support him, wasn't ready to see his one and only son hand in hand with another guy. Jake needed nothing more than to hear "I love you and I understand."
"I love you and I understand." Since his dad wouldn't say it, she would. And she DID understand. She understood the pain he went through, and was sad for him and with him. She knew it wouldn't mean quite as much coming from her, but it would mean something.
It did. Later, after Jake had gone to sleep, she lay awake and alone again. Somehow, though, she felt less secluded. She had helped someone, had possibly changed someone's life. She'd helped a friend deal. She was glad she was alive, and then she fell asleep, still thinking about the boy that may have saved her life that day, her savior.
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